Dear Diary,

I met the cutest guy today. His name is Alexei. Wow..I am awestruck!! I think he must be Russian. He has a really cute accent and I love the way he makes his sentences come out. He is blonde, with blue eyes and a really cute smile. Hes miles taller than I am (yeah, Im still saying Im 51" when Im really only 5¼") and has loads of muscles. Sigh! Wonder if he has a girlfriend? But who cares? Im sure hes not interested in an insignificant twerp like me. Sigh!

When I went to pick up my employers kids from their skating lesson, he was waiting for his turn to use the rink. Yeah! He uses the rink all by himself! Hes some sort of "figure skating dude"! I didnt see him skate. Wonder why he needs the whole rink?

When I arrived, he said "Hello", just like he already knew me. I said "Hello" back and he started talking. We only had about 10 minutes to wait but he told me all sorts of stuff. How he has some new music hes going to work with today, how his coach got mad at him yesterday for being late and lazy and falling a lot and stuff. He also asked me loads of questions; like why I was there, and what the kids were like and how I liked being a nanny. He asked what type of music I like and I had to admit that I dont like a lot of the alternative music everyone else is so crazy about. I didnt tell him that my favorite music is classical. Hed think Im weird. When I left, he said "See you on Wednesday". (Memo to self. Try to wear a clean shirt on Wednesday. And brush my hair.)

I think Ill go to sleep and dream about Alexei tonight.

Dear Diary,

I saw Alexei downtown tonight. Its funny how, when youve never seen someone before in your life, you start bumping into him everywhere. In this case, Im thrilled! I havent stopped thinking about Alexei since I met him yesterday. He has this cute lock of hair that falls over his face sometimes. Sigh!

I was in Target picking up some cat food. He was right there in the dog food section. I got up enough nerve to say "Hello. How did your practise go yesterday?" For some reason, he blushed bright red and stammered "Fine. Nice to see you again." Then he quickly walked away. See, I knew he wouldnt be interested in me. He was probably just trying to kill time yesterday at the rink.

Have to stop thinking about Alexeis blue eyes now.

Dear Diary,

Today I got to the ice rink late to pick up the kids. Partly, this was because I didnt fancy meeting Alexei and seeing his embarrassment again for being friendly with me on Monday. But mostly, circumstances intervened to make me late. I met Mrs. Saxons neighbour in the park where I go for a walk while Im waiting for the kids skating lessons to finish. She is a really sweet woman, but she does talk a lot!

Liam was very angry when I arrived. He said "Why werent you here? I had to take my skates off by myself and the laces got stuck!" Colleen looked like she was about to cry. I think she thought Id abandoned her! My heart was wrenched; Im full of guilt. How can I be such a bad nanny?

As I was just calming the kids down, Alexei skated over to the boards near where we were sitting. He was wearing a sweet smile. "Hi!" he said. "I missed you earlier."

"Whaaaa?" I think. "Last night he couldnt get away from me fast enough, today he says he missed me."

"Sorry. I was held up and just got here a few minutes ago. The kids were worried about me too." I replied.

"Can you introduce me to them?" Alexei asked.

"Sure. This one in my lap is Colleen. She is 3 and shes my darling pet. This is Liam. He is almost 5, has way too much energy and can already read! This man is Alexei. I met him on Monday when I was waiting to pick you up."

"Im happy to meet you" Alexei said, shaking Liams hand and patting Colleens head. "How do you like ice skating?"

"I like it a lot" Liam answered. "But the little kids in my class (looking scornfully at his sister) are really slow at learning things. So we have to do the same stuff over and over. Are you a skater?"

"Yes. Im a figure skater. Do you know what that is?"

"No."

"Watch me." With that, Alexei skated away and performed a part of the program he was working on, including a triple loop, a spin and some fancy footwork. When he skated back, we were all amazed.

"Wow!" Liam said. "Can you teach me to do that?"

"Maybe one day I could. But first you have to practise really hard at your skating lessons. Then take more lessons and more lessons until you are about 8 years old. But maybe you dont really want to be a figure skater. Its a lot of hard work and it can get in the way of other things you want to do."

"Like what?" Liam asked curiously.

I interrupted then. "Just a minute. We cant tie up Alexeis time. And he probably doesnt want to answer a bunch of kids questions."

"I dont mind" Alexei said, smiling at me. "I love kids. And to answer your question Liam, skating can take time away from school, playing with your friends, playing soccer. all the stuff that other boys do." Then he looked at me shyly and continued "And for me, it takes time away from meeting girls."

I think my face went pink then. To cover my confusion, I said "Well wed better go. Thank-you very much for giving us a demonstration of your wonderful skating and for answering questions."

"Wait! Will you come early for the next lesson? Please Clara? Then we could talk some more."

"OK." I replied. "Ill see you on Friday then."

Thats the end of my adventure for today. I just dont get it. Why is Alexei so friendly at the rink and why was he embarrassed to meet me last night?

Diary, you have no idea how great this guys skating is! For the two minutes we watched him I forgot everything. I was transported to paradise! If I didnt believe in such things, I would think he bewitched us we just imagined that he did all those amazing things on the ice. And his passion! He doesnt just skate around and spin and jump. He tells a story. I was totally mesmerized by it. I wish I could stay every day and watch him skate. He should be skating at the Olympics or something!

Tonight I will dream about his beautiful smile and his remarkable skating.

Dear Diary,

Arghhhh! I cant stand it! Why cant this guy be normal?

Tonight I went to see a show with Christine and Rachel. When I was waiting in the line to buy popcorn for all of us, I noticed that Alexei was in the line right in front of me. He looked soooooo handsome in a leather jacket, jeans and a tight black T-shirt. His hair was a little different tonight. kind of windblown and falling in his eyes.

I am such a coward. Im so shy that it is torture to strike up a conversation with anyone. But, yesterday he seemed so friendly, that I screwed up my courage to say "Hi".

He turned around and saw me and blushed! But, for some reason, I stood my ground. "Well you could say hi back. Im Clara, remember?"

"Sorry. I mean Hi." he responded in a soft voice. Then he dropped his cell phone and we both bent over to pick it up. We cracked heads.

"Gosh Im sorry," we both said simultaneously. Then I burst out laughing and he grinned sheepishly.

"Thats OK." I replied. "Which movie are you seeing?" I asked.

"Spiderman" he replied.

"My friends and I are seeing "Changing Lanes". Well I hope you enjoy the movie. Its your turn to buy popcorn now."

"Oh, right. Thanks."

As he left I said "See you tomorrow then." He gave me the most confused look as he walked away. It was only yesterday that he asked me to come early tomorrow so we can chat and now he seems like he cant even remember me. Whats wrong with him?

Dear Diary,

Today I didnt go for my walk in the park while the kids were at their skating lesson. I stayed at the rink and read until Alexei arrived. I saw him as he came in carrying his bag. He looked so carefree and happy! And he came right over to me and sat down beside me.

"Hi Clara." he said. "Im glad you came early today. Ive been looking forward to seeing you since Wednesday."

"Hi Alexei. How was the movie last night?" I answered.

"Movie? Oh yeah, I was going to go to a movie but I backed out at the last minute. Hey, I wanted to ask you something. Would you like to meet me on Sunday after church? We could go for a walk, grab some lunch. I dont know. Just hang out, you know?"

"Sure. Id love that." I replied.

The rest of the time before the kids finished skating was spent talking. Mostly, I let Alexei do the talking because hes so much better at it. His English is very good. But you remember that he is Russian when he starts to get excited. Then his gestures and his way of saying things become eminently Russian. When he was describing his visit as a kid to the Space Museum in Moscow he became very, very excited. You could hear his pride in his country as he described the "Space Race" from the Russian viewpoint. After all, in the early days of the race, the USSR beat the US every time! He told me heaps of stuff I never knew not just about Russia and space, but about lots of things. I think hes about the same age as me (21), but he seems much more mature. I guess hes traveled a lot and done a lot of things. And I have just lived in Connecticut all my life.

Im counting the hours to Sunday afternoon. But Im scared too. This is a "date". I dont have many dates and Im always so awkward. And this date means a lot to me because I really, really like Alexei. But I wonder what he sees in an insignificant twerp like me?

Dear Diary,

OMG! OMG! OMG! Youll never guess what happened today!!!!

After church I walked over to his church (the Russian Orthodox one) and waited outside for him. After a few minutes I saw him in the crowd leaving the church. My heart went into my throat, my heart pounded and my stomach did flip-flops. Oh dear, did I wear the right thing? Is my hair OK? What do I say to him? I started to feel distinctly sick with anticipation.

I was watching him walk down the stairs in front of the church when I heard a warm voice right beside me. "Hi Clara. You look stunning today!"

I spun around and saw Alexei! But hes on the stairs! I looked back to the church and sure enough, there he was walking towards me!

So I did the natural thing. I fainted!

When I came to I was lying on a park bench. Alexei was kneeling beside me wearing a worried frown and holding my hand. He said very softly, over and over "Please be all right. Please be all right."

I opened my eyes and saw his electric blue eyes fixed on my face. For a moment I lay there and my mind slowly, lazily thought over how nice he looked up close and how warm his hand was on mine. I felt at peace with the world.

"Youre awake!" Alexei cried joyfully.

My peace shattered and the entire morning rushed back to me. How I had dressed carefully, anticipating my date with Alexei. How nervous I was as I walked over to the Orthodox Church. My terror as I saw him leaving the church. And finally, my ridiculous faint just when he said hello. I struggled into a seated position and started making my excuses.

"Im so sorry. Ive never fainted before. I dont know what happened. Im"

"Take it easy. Its OK. Are you feeling all right?" Alexei interrupted me.

"Yes. Im fine. I was seeing things. There were 2 of you and I guess it was just sensory overload. Im so sorry for being such a blockhead." I faltered. "You dont have to be worr" Just then I saw another Alexei standing behind Alexei. "Oh no," I thought to myself. "Im going crazy!"

Alexei stood up and the Alexeis looked at each other, then back at me shamefacedly. "Clara, Id like you to meet my brother, Petr." Alexei said.

"Whaaaaa.." I replied idiotically. Then I burst out laughing. Pretty soon I was laughing hysterically, Alexei and Petr were grinning sheepishly, and passersby were stopping to stare. As I laughed, I pointed at Petr and said, "Youre the one I met at Target! Your face was so red!" Then I pointed at Alexei and said, "You should have told me."

"Yes, well I didnt know" Petr started.

"I would have told you but " Alexei said at the same time.

"Was it you at the theatre too?" I interrupted.

"Yes. Guilty again. I had no idea who you were. But Im not very good at remembering people. Since you knew me and I thought I must know you from somewhere." Petr explained.

I stated the obvious. "You two are identical twins! Oh Wow. OH WOW!!"

"Come on," Petr said. "I hate everyone staring at us."

So we all started walking through the park. I walked between the 2 cutest guys Id ever met as they towered over me.

"How am I going to tell you apart?" I asked, reverting to the problem most urgent in my mind.

"Im better looking," said Alexei promptly.

"Im smarter," replied Petr.

"Im richer," alleged Alexei.

"Im nicer," claimed Petr.

"At least I know how to talk to a girl properly," challenged Alexei.

"But a girl knows she can count on me," responded Petr.

"Well Im stronger and can protect her" taunted Alexei.

"Oh yeah? If youre ever around. What girl wants a guy whos never here?" jeered Petr.

"Well.Mom always liked me best! So there!" finished Alexei.

Petr took a flying leap and caught Alexei around the waist. Down they went to the grass and tumbled down the hill. Arms and legs were flying. I just stood and laughed at them. They looked just like 2 bear cubs playing. I knew no one would really be hurt.

All of a sudden it struck me. There on the grass were 2 guys fighting over me!! Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined this happening. Diary, you know how many guys I have been interested in; and how very few have ever been interested in me. Now I was watching 2 guys, who were cute, smart, rich, nice, dependable and strong (if their boasts were to be believed) actually fighting over me! "Oh, be still my beating heart."

"Calm down," I said to myself. "This is just normal sibling rivalry. Petr just wants something that Alexei has. Or maybe this is their way of breaking up an awkward situation."

Finally it looked like the "bear cubs" had tired of their game. I knelt on the grass between them as they lay there catching their breaths. "I think you are both just perfect. Now are you taking me to lunch or arent you?"

Petr sprang to his feet and said "Sure. I know a great Japanese place a block away. See you later, Lyoshka."

"Not so fast, you bounder!" Alexei insisted, pulling my arm out of Petrs grasp. "I asked Clara out today. You werent even supposed to be here. So get lost!"

"I wont have any more fights. We will spend today together all 3 of us. That will be a lesson to you, Alexei, for not telling me about your twin. I want you both to behave or I will leave. OK?"

I have been in heaven all day. Both the Yagudin boys (thats their last name, I found out) are accomplished in the arts of making a woman feel, well, like a lady! We ate sushi at a charming restaurant. Then we went to the amusement park and rode the Roller Coaster and Ferris Wheel about a thousand times each. Then we walked along the river and talked and laughed and had fun.

Despite the rivalry this morning, Alexei and Petr appear to be very close. They live in an apartment downtown together. They regularly jog and go to the gym together and they share the same circle of close friends. They even do "comedy routines" together they are both accomplished actors, it seems (but only to entertain friends). I dont think Ive ever laughed so hard as I did today.

I am envious of their relationship. I am an only child of older parents. Our house was very serene, but I now see that Ive missed a lot of laughter and comradery with siblings.

Petr is a software engineer. He has a Masters Degree (thats why he said hes smarter). He was very impressed that I have a Bachelors Degree in Biotech and I will be starting a Masters Degree in the fall. We talked about university for a while, but Alexei wasnt interested. He has a degree in Physical Education, specializing in Coaching. So his university days were very different than ours.

I knew that Alexei is a figure skater. But I didnt realize that that is a full time job. He said that he spends the entire year competing, doing shows and training. He is at home now for a few weeks training for the competitions that start in October. Apparently he is very famous in figure skating hes even won the World Championships 3 times! He missed his title this year, though, due to an injury. But hes bounced back and hasnt let the setback deter him from his goal winning the Olympics in February!! Can all this be possible? Why would a world-class athlete be interested in me?

We have agreed that I will go out with each of them alone without the competition of their twin. Of course I agreed! Who wouldnt?

As we said goodbye, I gave each of them a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I was very careful not to play favorites (now I know how their Mom must feel!) As I watched them walk away from my apartment, I saw Alexei punch Petrs arm, then Petr put his arm around Alexeis shoulders and give him a shake. Id better be very careful. If I let them both fall in love with me, it could seriously damage their lovely relationship.

"Listen to me! I sound like a regular breaker of mens hearts! Come down to earth, girl!"

Dear Diary,

Tonight, Petr took me out. We agreed that my first date would be with him since he has to leave tomorrow for a 10-day course at the "Microsoft University" in Washington.

I was kind of worried about this date. When Id seen Petr alone before (when I thought he was Alexei), he was extremely shy. Im shy too so what were we going to do all evening sit there and blush at each other?

It didnt turn out like that at all. It was absolutely the best date Ive ever been on! Petr is very European in the way that he treats women. He had taken care with his appearance and looked smashing in a dark suit, white shirt and a blue tie to match his eyes. He opens the door of the car, takes your coat and hangs it up, holds your chair, defers to your choices. Hes rather masterful, too. He had planned the entire evening to give me pleasure, he told me what I should order at dinner and chose the correct wine. And when we were dancing there was no question who was leading! Sigh, I love his style!

He took me to a wonderful (expensive) French restaurant called La Papillote. He must go there frequently because the maitre dhote knows him - we got a table with a great view of the river. Later we went dancing at a small club on the other side of town. They play great dancing music but not so loud that you cant have a conversation. Petr is a terrific dancer. By the end of the evening I could do the basic steps of the swing and the cha cha. But the 2-step was my favourite (more closeness!) As we went to the car, he asked me to call him "Petrushka". This is the familiar form of his name.

Its funny this was my date to decide if Petr was my favourite twin. But Petr spent most of the evening boasting about Alexei! It seems that Alexei is a superman of sorts hes had to overcome a lot of obstacles to reach his position at the top of Figure Skating. There have been competitions where he fought on through the pain without anyone knowing. And then there is the constant, mind-numbing practise and physical fitness regime. It must be nice for Alexei to have support from Petr (as well as practical help by doing some of the physical training together.) Petr seems to lose out since Alexei is out of town a lot (like 10 months of the year!) And their Mom, who they both adore, lives in St. Petersburg. He seems kind of lonely. Thats why they have a dog a cocker spaniel named Lawrence.

It was almost as if Petr was trying to convince me to choose Alexei. Besides boasting about his twins accomplishments, he compared himself unfavourably to Alexei. Petr said hes shy and awkward with girls (didnt seem that way to me!) He is less animated and outgoing that Alexei. He even said that Alexei is better looking (how could that be true? Theyre identical!)

An incident happened as he was driving me home around 1 AM (he drives a red Lexus what a car! and my favourite colour too! too bad he drives like a maniac!!). When we stopped at a light, a car full of teenaged girls pulled up next to us. They looked over and we could hear;

"Thats him!" "Its Alexei!" "Isnt he gorgeous?" "I want that man!" "Stop him" "Hes getting away" "Follow him"

Petr took off at about 120 kph. The girls managed to stay on our tail

Im afraid of fast cars. I was in the passenger seat saying "Not so fast" "Youll hit something!" "OMG!! SLOW DOWN!!!" (the latter as we screamed around a corner on the wrong side of the road.) I was totally freaking out now.

Finally I screamed "PETR IF YOU DONT STOP THIS CAR IM GOING TO JUMP OUT!"

Petr pulled the car to the side of the road and stopped. Within seconds the car was surrounded by girls demanding that he get out and talk to them. Petr sheepishly got out of the car. "OK, you caught me," he said.

"What?" I thought. "Hes Petrushka, not Alexei. Why doesnt he just tell them that so theyll leave?"

Im afraid I got very angry at this point. After all, I had just been scared out of my wits. Now he stands there talking to a bunch of crazed girls instead of taking care of me. So I popped out of the car and ran away!

We were in a part of town that I didnt know. I walked up and down streets looking for a familiar landmark or somewhere that I could ask for directions or call a cab. After about an hour, Petrs car pulled up next to me. I ignored him. Petr ran after me and grabbed my arm.

"Now wait a minute. You have to let me explain," he said.

"Why did you let them. Why didnt you stop when I said to. " I was just getting started on my complaints when he stopped them by pulling me roughly into his arms and kissing me. I tried to get away at first, and then I guess I didnt want to any longer. His lips were so warm and demanding.

We walked around a little while he explained the situation. "Lyoshka and I dont let anyone outside our circle of friends know that he has a twin. This is mainly for my benefit. When he is traveling, fans dont bother coming to Newington to look for him. Also, it eliminates the pressure on me to put my skating skills to work."

"Can you figure skate too?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"Of course. Until 6 years ago we did all the classes and training together. I was probably better than he was! But at that point I got interested in computers and came to hate the long hours on the ice. You have to really, really want to be the best to do everything that Lyoshka does."

After that we patched up our argument and he drove me home. At the door he gave me another, even longer kiss. I dont think theres anything Alexei can do on our date to beat that!"

Dear Diary,

Tonight, it was Alexeis turn to take me out.

As Alexei came to my doorway, he was met by a delivery girl from a local flower shop.

"Oh how lovely!" I exclaimed.

"Who are those from?" growled Alexei.

I opened the card and read "Thank-you for last night. Petrushka."

"Oh how sweet," I exclaimed.

"Well of all the nerve!" Alexei exclaimed. "Hes just trying to take the shine out of my evening with you! Besides, what happened last night? Why "thank-you for last night"?"

As we walked out to the car, I spent some time calming Alexeis ruffled feathers. He was looking very charming, in a casual way. He wore bright orange cargo shorts, a white T-shirt and a light blue hat pulled way down over his eyes.

Pretty soon Alexei was smiling. "Now that Petrushkas away, I can see you every day. By the time he gets back, youll have forgotten all about him! What a loser!"

"Hey. That doesnt seem fair!" I protested.

"Alls fair in love and war," he quoted.

"Like sending me flowers just before my date with you?"

Alexei gave me a rueful smile that acknowledged the hit.

We had arrived at the car. He drives a gorgeous a gold Mercedes sports coupe. I was a little nervous after my experience driving with Petr.

"Maybe we could take the bus," I suggested.

"What? Dont you like my car?"

"Its not that. Its just."

"I know. Petrushka told me. Youre afraid of fast driving. Dont worry, I know how to take care of a girl." He pulled out into traffic very decorously to prove his point. As we drove, he asked me to call him "Lyoshka". Im learning that with Russians, you dont call them by their familiar name until you are asked to.

He took me to a great "Mom and Pop" Italian restaurant and ordered the dinner and wine for us (masterful just like his twin.) I made the mistake of eating a lot of the spaghetti. How was I to know that there was a meat course next? Fortunately, Alexeis had a big appetite. "I wouldnt want to send food back to the kitchen," he pointed out. "Mama Luigi would be very hurt."

Later we boarded a boat for a cruise on the river. It was a perfect evening warm and clear. We went outside to the stern and watched a flaming sunset. Alexei put his arm around me as we watched the sun sink into the river. I was in heaven! How could life be any better than just standing here, circled by Lyoshkas strong arms?

Later he lowered his head to mine and kissed me tenderly on the lips. Im afraid I lost myself and responded vigorously, pulling him closer to me. When the kiss ended, he gave me a triumphant smile. "Oh gosh, I guess he thinks hes won now. What am I going to do?" I thought confusedly.

Just as Petr had spent most of the evening boasting about Alexei, Alexei spent much of the evening boasting about Petr! It seems that Petr is a genius of sorts he earned his Bachelor and Masters Degrees concurrently, finishing when he was only 20! Since then, he had been recruited by a top-notch firm and was constantly in demand. Often he spends a week or two a month traveling visiting clients to solve problems and presenting at conferences. Just as Petr gives strong support to Alexeis career, Alexei has learned enough about software engineering to give support to Petr, too. Sometimes, a sounding board can make all the difference when a problem is difficult to solve; and that is the role Alexei plays.

When I tried to talk about his fame, Alexei did not seem interested. I had learned a lot since my date with Petr when I saw all the crazed fans. I wanted to demonstrate my knowledge and ask him about his fame. "Im grateful to all my fans for their support. They are what keep me working so hard. But please, dont put me on a pedestal. I am just Lyoshka."

He did give me some insights into his life, though. Because of his travel schedule, he often feels overwhelmed, out-of-touch with events and people. Except for his close relationships with Petr and with his coaches, especially Tatiana, he is doesnt have time to form close ties with people. In particular, he has had a hard time forming a lasting friendship with a girl. I think he desperately wants to find a wife, as he is quite old-fashioned in his notions (success means a career, wife, home and children).

We drove home without incident. We sat in his car for a few minutes before he took me to the door. Alexei seemed unable to say what was on his mind. Finally he said, "I know I am not the best choice for you. Petrushka is smarter and more polished. He is home more often so he can take care of you, as you deserve. And hes fallen for you just as hard as I have. But I just wanted to ask you to consider me carefully. You would make me the happiest guy if you chose me instead of Petrushka."

"Oh Lyoshka!" I exclaimed. "I dont know what to do!" Then, like an idiot I started crying.

He quickly put his arm around me and dried my tears with his kisses. "Im sorry. Im sorry. Im every sort of brute to put you under pressure. Just follow your heart and you will choose well."

Oh Diary, what should I do?

Dear Diary,

Im swinging between euphoria and depression.

Sometimes I am soooo happy that there is a guy that wants to go out with me. How many years have I watched my friends dating first one guy then another, while I stood on the sidelines and waited? And, wonder of wonders, there are actually 2 perfectly eligible guys actually contending for the chance to go out with me! Actually, they are more than eligible both of them are terrific "catches".

But then my mood plummets down into depression. How can I choose between Lyoshka and Petrushka? Their looks are fabulous.. but obviously not a deciding factor since they are identical. They are both working at jobs they love and excel at. They both treat me really well and they both seem to like me a lot. I feel a lot of affection for both of them but I cant say one has the edge over the other.

What criteria should I use to choose between them? I thought a date with each of them would tell me what I needed to know. But it just made me crazy about both of them.

Since yesterday, I have had long conversations with both of them. Before the kids I take care of were finished skating, Lyoshka and I went for a walk in the park. He is so amusing! And he listens really well to what I say. He begged me to go out with him again tonight, but I had to say no. I have to figure out this puzzle and not let either one of them get in too deeply.

Then this evening, Petrushka called me from Seattle. It must have cost a fortune for the call it was about 90 minutes! Oh yes! Petrushka had some absolutely wonderful chocolates delivered to my apartment today. And Lyoshka had some flowers for me this afternoon.

You know what I would really like? I would like to not have to decide at all. Ill go out with both of them!! They can fight over who takes me out each night. And woo me with gifts. And I would be soooo happy!!

Wait a minute! I dont think that would make me happy at all. I think I would like to devote my time to just one of them. To say nothing of the confusion."Which one are you again?" "Oh sorry, I guess I must have told your brother about that." And, to stop being selfish for a moment.dating both of them would be a great way of making them both unhappy AND possibly destroying their great relationship with each other.

But back to that "confusion" thing. Maybe I dont really know them apart yet. I remember when I asked them about it ... all I got was one of their "comedy routines." But this is serious. I have to really know them well to decide whom to choose. But I cant take too much time because its not fair on them.

So how do I quickly get to know each of them well?

Dear Diary,

Ive come to some decisions. First, no more presents. Petr has obviously realized that Alexei has the "home advantage" so he has send me a gift every day he has been away flowers, chocolates, a teddy bear, etc. They are all so thoughtful. But it will have to stop cant have him "buying" my affection. Nor can I appear to him to be obligated to choose him.

Second, no more visiting. Alexei has been taking full advantage of Petrs absence. Ive seen him most days either at the rink when Im picking up the kids, or he has dropped by in the evenings on some excuse or other. I told him earlier "no dates", but he manages to make the most of "non dates".

Third, no telephone calls. Ive been hearing from Petr every day calls lasting anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours! Even Alexei calls me, whether or not Ive already seen him that day. I have to stop the calls so I can THINK! They are both so charming that whomever Im talking to is the one for me.

Fourth. Im going out on a limb here I have no idea if this is going to work. When Petr comes home next week, I will see each of them, alone, for 30 minutes. They wont know more than that, but for me its decision time. Based on that short meeting and the thinking I hope to do between now and then, I will make my decision.

OK. OK. OK. This is not a life-and-death decision for any of us. Were not talking marriage here. Just, who am I going to start dating? The other one is so attractive, eligible, .. "yummy" that he shouldnt have any problem at all falling into someone elses arms.

Now the thinking part. Ill list the disadvantages of each of them.

Alexei

• travels much of the year
• many girls are after him (temptation especially when hes on the road?)
• too rich (yes a disadvantage, because I really dont like buying a lot of stuff and maybe he does)
• doesnt have Petrs dry sense of humour
• moody during/before competitions
• a perfectionist but maybe only with himself, not others
• doesnt have an academic degree maybe he wont understand my need to study hard and do well on my Masters

Petr

• some travel
• more "formal" than Alexei
• doesnt have Alexeis quirky sense of humour
• introverted and moody
• a "genius" maybe he will be impatient with me for being slower than he is
• seems to have very set ideas about women we should have traditional roles like his Mom?
• when Alexeis in town, his first priority (after his job) seems to be supporting him with training, feedback, etc.

Gosh, did that get me any further?

Dear Diary,

Well Diary, Ive made my decision.

First Ill describe the 30-minute meetings I had with each of them today. Alexei, experienced competitor that he is, insisted on being last.

I invited Petr over after dinner for coffee. At first he seemed ill at ease. He treated it like a sales call which Im sure he knows lots about with himself as the product! He listed his good qualities and the advantages to me of buying his product. He was careful not to disparage his competition (he has been trained well.) I think I managed to get him to relax and be less serious when I asked him about warranties; references from other satisfied customers and his "return policy". We ended up laughing uproariously.

Near the end of the meeting, but before 30 minutes was over, Alexei rang the doorbell. Petr had enough presence of mind to storm over to the door, fling it open and yell at him to "get lost!" Alexei was just trying to throw Petr off-balance, but Petr handled it well.

At the end of the meeting, with Alexeis finger firmly pressed on the doorbell, I asked Petr to kiss me. The rest of the meeting didnt matter; it was just a blind, a distraction. The real purpose of the meeting was to test "the kiss". My theory is that my reaction to their kisses will tell me everything I need to know.

Well Petr is one terrific kisser. His kiss is warm and demanding. His arms are strong and know just how to hold me. Wow! What can I say? While he was kissing me, I couldnt even hear the insistent noise of the doorbell.

Finally I opened the door. Petr sauntered out, giving Alexei a smirk and blowing a kiss to me from the sidewalk.

Alexei was fuming! "He took an extra 6 minutes! I demand extra time! What were you doing in here?"

"Relax, Lyoshka. You dont want him to ruin our time together." Then I offered him some coffee and poured some more for myself.

Alexei had regained his composure and started to talk about Lawrie, their Cocker Spaniel. Maybe this wasnt a good choice, since I am not a "dog person". Nevertheless, he told some amusing anecdotes and soon we were relaxed and having a great time. Alexei seemed to be wondering when the "grilling" would start. I guess he thought this was an interview and I would ask him questions about his "intentions" and his "prospects". Maybe try to frighten him like in the movie "Meet the Parents".

All too soon, 31 minutes had passed. Time for "the test". I asked Alexei to kiss me before he left. He seemed a little confused since there had been no "grilling", but he willingly complied. This is something he likes doing! I think he must have had A LOT of practise. His kiss was tender and gentle, he stroked my hair. And he smelled really, really good.

Petr politely rang the doorbell to signal the end of Alexeis meeting and time to hear my decision. They both came back into the living room. Petr didnt look as confident as when he had left ½ an hour ago. Alexei has lots of experience with the pressure of competition - I couldnt really tell how he was feeling.

I was very nervous, but elated. My test had worked! I knew exactly which one I wanted now. During his kiss my heart screamed out the answer.

So I turned to Petr and I said, "Sorry Petr. My heart is telling me that Alexei is the one for me. I like you an awful lot. And Id like to thank-you for everything you have done for me. I really wish that I dont have to tell you this, but I am sure of my mind now."

Petr is one classy guy. He couldnt have handled this more perfectly. He stood up and said "No. Dont thank me I enjoyed every moment of the chase. Thank-you for giving me a fair chance. You treated us both well and I have no complaints. I wish you and Alexei the best of luck." Then he put his arms around me and gave me a great bear hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Finally, he turned to Alexei. We both turned to Alexei. How was he taking this?

Well, if I didnt know better, I would think Alexei was about to cry!

But Petr knows Alexei better than I. He bounded over to him, yanked him off the sofa and threw him on the floor! Soon they were rolling around like wrestling bear cubs again and I was moving furniture out of the way. "You dog!" "You cheater!" "You derelict!" "You overgrown lout!" "You lunatic!" On and on went the string of insults. Each one giving as good as he got, both verbally and physically. And their laughter was infectious. I had no idea what was going on, but it seemed like they were still friends!

Later, when Petr had carefully brushed himself off and taken his leave, Lyoshka and I were finally alone.

"What made you decide on me?" he asked softly.

"Remember what you said on our date? Just listen to your heart. Well I knew that if I kissed each of you, my heart would tell me which of you I wanted. And I want you."

So Lyoshka did the natural thing. He drew me gently into his arms for a long, passionate kiss.

THE END.